Y’all I can’t even! November has been so extremely difficult – emotionally, physically, socially and mentally. I worked so hard on getting closer to my overall health and fitness goals and in one month they went down the drain!
If you have been following me awhile, you are probably aware that I live with depression and food addiction which I usually manage through exercise, watching my diet and medication. At the beginning of November, I removed the medication that I was using for my depression and went through a horrible several weeks of withdrawal effects. There were many days that I could not keep food down, could not sleep or wanted to do nothing but sleep. I spent many days experiencing cold sweats, headaches and would break down into tears for no reason at all. My daily exercise was non-existent and my nutrition was … well awful. I wallowed in this self pity party and focused on everything that I have not been able to achieve rather than focusing on how far I have come. I took my ‘start over’ photos and as I sit here and share them with you along with this journey…I am brought to tears. I am brought to tears because I have let myself go, gave up on my goals this month. However, that is about to change.
Please understand, I do not share these with you so that you can join in on my pity party or so that you can try to make me feel better. I share my journey…all parts of it for several reasons. It helps me own my shit…to put it frankly. Also, I have been on the side of the spectrum when you are at your lowest lows and feel so completely alone. I want to be that life preserver for someone. I want others who live with depression and addiction to know that they are NOT alone. That perfection is not what we should be striving for. We need to learn how to take control of our lives, become healthier – physically, mentally, emotionally – and learn how to be proactive in our decisions rather than being reactive and controlled by these emotions and dark thoughts.
I started a ‘redo’ on my journey yesterday. I planned out my day, took my measurements and photos and went public with my journey on social media. I worked out, followed my nutrition plan – it was not perfect however it was a lot better and everything that I ate was on my ‘plan’. I dived into personal development with a new audible book called The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein. You guys, this is a MUST if you are living with depression, addiction, self doubt, low self worth…etc. There are so many amazing nuggets in this book that if I had the paper copy, everything would be highlighted….it’s THAT good!
Today I woke up and started my day with my morning ritual (which I have been neglecting) of 10 minutes of yoga and meditation. Followed my 30 minutes of a martial arts inspired program and 30 minutes of dancing my ass off! Nutrition was on point today, y’all! I’m back to focusing on intermittent fasting, drinking my daily dose of superfoods/antioxidants/probiotics and fueling my body with whole foods….no processed junk. I even made myself leave the house for awhile and be among the living.
Things are not perfect however it’s a start. It’s a start to taking my life back…one day at a time. If after reading this, you have a desire to do better…become happier…focus on YOU…then let’s connect! Let’s do this together and I promise you…each day we will become stronger.